October 1 2020

Wedding

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On March fourth of this year, I married my soul mate in Lincoln County, New Mexico. We like to say we got married March forth as it was on that day that we marched forth to new beginnings. Prior to this journey, which was approximately a 4 hour car ride from our home, I created a playlist. On my Itunes account it lives. The playlist simply called “Wedding”. This playlist consists of 15 songs and lasts 55 minutes.

Every time that I get to hear one of these songs it reminds me of her, my best friend, the love of my life, my UnNi.

#1- Blessings by Florida Georgia Line.

First time I met you, knew I never could forget you, girl you always saw the blue skies past the rain clouds in my eyes.

The very first line in the song says so much. We first met at a conference I attended for Alcoholics Anonymous in the Spring of 2010. I had spent some time away as a ward of the State of Texas and had only been out of a halfway house for a month.

I was learning to live sober. UnNi was going to school to become a substance abuse counselor. She worked in a treatment center. She was so beautiful. I had feelings for her from the very first time I saw her.

#2- Millionaire by Chris Stapleton.

They say love is more precious than gold Can’t be bought and it can’t be sold.”

I used to think that I was measured by the possessions that I had. Money and Power were status symbols that I thought would either make or break me. UnNi showed me that love was the “ultimate gift”. I know that she loves me and I love her. I would lay down my life for her. I will do anything in my power to give her everything I have. She also showed me how to reconnect with my Higher Power, my faith and find the never ending love of the Holy Spirit and of Jesus Christ the Son of Man.

#3- Prayed For You by Matt Stell. UnNi and I first saw this guy at a concert we attended with our friends Matthew and Sondra. Matt Stell was the opening act for Clay Walker. This song really touched me and UnNi too.

Cause every single day, before I knew your name I couldn’t see your face, but I prayed for you.”

Matt Stell

These lyrics really touched me deep down. I had been in other relationships. I had been married before. I thought I had been in love once or twice, but I had never considered praying for what God wanted for me.

Up to this point I had lived most all of my life on impulse. It was a roller coaster of highs and lows, only considering what was good for me and what made me happy for the moment.

I had met UnNi years before we ever dated. We hung out some and talked. I considered her a good friend. She had been there for me through some rough patches in my life. She had seen me go through some things as I had also seen her life change in many ways.

I was going through a pretty rough patch. I was ending another relationship, had lost control of my children and was only seconds away from throwing in the towel on my sobriety. When one day I sat down to truly seek God for some sort of direction.

It was conference time again and I knew that every time I would make the trek to Ft Davis I would see her face. I hoped this time it would be the same. So I messaged her on Facebook and she said she would go. We made plans to hang out.

We reconnected our friendship and soon began to date. I know God put her in my life. I know she was my answered prayer. I am forever grateful that UnNi is in my life. I still can’t believe that she’s my wife!

#4- Your Smile Takes My Breath Away– by Ryan Kirkland. Just before we planned to marry, My second cousin Ryan Kirkland recorded his first song. The song is available on Itunes and Amazon.

You can bring me to my knees, with just one wink, your smile takes my breath away.”

Ryan Kirkland

I feel that way every time I look at my UnNi. She takes my breath away every single day. I feel like the luckiest guy on earth just being able to wear her wedding band on my finger.

I heard from an old timer in AA just the other day, that he would never leave his “Honey Bunny”. Not only had he made a commitment to her that day in that church, He had a made a commitment to God.

I shall never forget that commitment I made that day in early March of 2020. The start of a new beginning and the start of a long and happy life with the person who God intended for me.

#5 Stealing Electricity by Tom Russell. This is the strangest love song you ever heard. UnNi thinks my music is strange.

This song starts out with a guy who dies while trying to steal electricity and how the voltage running through him made his heart go “d-da”.

Hey baby, ain’t that just like you and me? Love is like stealing electricity, Two hearts go D-da, d-da, d-da, da.”

Tom Russell

Our hearts beat to the same music. We made our commitment. We became one. The bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:12 A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

The three strands represent UnNi and I. Our hearts only beat because God, The Third Strand gives us the “electricity”. He is our power and our light. He holds us together.

#6 Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison.

“Slipping and sliding All along the waterfall with you My brown-eyed girl.”

My wife has these big brown eyes. I could look into them all day long. It’s in those big round eyes that I can see her thoughts. They sparkle when she’s happy. They fade when she’s angry. They are wet when she’s sad.

I hope I make her brown eyes sparkle more often than not. I love my brown eyed girl. She makes my heart smile. We have a lot of laughs together and we enjoy many of the same things. She is my rock. My brown eyed girl.

#7 In Spite of Ourselves by John Prine. UnNi and I both enjoy singing karaoke. One year for Christmas, we bought each other a karaoke machine. Valentines Day of 2017 we recorded ourselves singing this song, in the style of John Prine and Iris Dement. It will forever be our song.

In spite of ourselves, We’ll end up sittin’ on a rainbow, Against all odds, Honey, we’re the big door prize.”

John Prine / Iris Dement

I often have to remember to look beyond the end of my nose. I can be selfish and self centered. That causes a lot of trouble in my relationship. This song reminds me of the prize and to play the tape to the end. I have to pause and think before I act or react.

UnNi has done more than she knows to teach me these things about myself and to show me to treat others in the way that I want to be treated. She has taught me to stand up for what I believe in. Yet, she also shows me how to do it tactfully and respectfully. Sometimes I still fall short on this concept, but I am certainly a better man than I was and I owe that all to her.

#8 Loving Her Was Easier by Kris Kristofferson. I have always believed this was one of the prettiest songs ever written.

Last October, UnNi and I got to see Kris Kristofferson live at the Wagner Noel. This was one of those concerts I got to scratch off of my bucket list.

I can’t pick a favorite line in this song. Every line is perfect poetry. Every line reminds me of her. She is perfect and hearing this perfect song with such a perfect partner is one of the highlights of my life.

“Talking of tomorrow and the money, love and time we had to spend.”

Kris Kristofferson

If I die tomorrow, this is one of those songs I would want played at my funeral. I hope UnNi knows how special she made each day of my life.

#9 Just Breathe by Willie and Lukas Nelson.

“Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh if I didn’t I’m a fool you see, no one knows this more than me.” 

Willie Nelson/ Lukas Nelson

This is a song that relaxes me even on the worst of days. UnNi and I have tried to sing it a few times. We can’t seem to hit those high notes. We discovered this song together. It means so much to us both.

We both have our own struggles and issues and we are both seeking solution rather than creating more drama and chaos. When we are together we are much stronger than when we are apart. When we remember to just breathe and not let the things we do not have control of overwhelm us, our life is better.

UnNi makes me a better man.

I hope that I bring that breath of fresh air into her life as well.

#10 Love Abides by Tom Russell and Iris Dement.

Hey look how far we’ve come, do we know who we are? Stranded on a mountain top trying to catch a falling star.”

This is another song we do together in karaoke. This is another song that reminds me that we are stronger together. It reminds me of the perfect love that we have for each other. Remembering where I came from and the direction that I want my life to go.

UnNi is a planner.

I am a dreamer.

Most of the time when I have a dream, she plans on how to make that dream become a reality.

Like for example, this blog.

I have wanted to write for as long as I can remember. She set forth a plan to make this dream become a reality. She set up this website and teaches me as she learns how to operate it.

Now, You as our reader, gets to experience this side of our life.

I hope you enjoy what you are reading, as much as we enjoy writing to you.

#11 Love me Anyway and #12 True Love both by Pink. These songs are pretty brutal but it’s an honest description of how our life can be.

Even if I see your scars Even if I break your heart If we’re a million miles apart Do you think you’d walk away?”

Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face.”

Pink

We have had some big fights. Have gone through some pretty big stuff over the years. I choose to stay. She chooses to let me.

We get closer every day. We are learning to communicate and to express our feelings.

In my mind there is absolutely nothing that could keep me away from her. I feel feelings that I have never felt when I upset her. I can see my part today, and admit when I am wrong. She can do that too.

I have never had a love like this.

Once again as an old timer in AA often tells me, “ 9 out of 10 times she’s Honey Bunny, 1 out of 10 times she’s Huffy Bunny and when she is Huffy Bunny, there’s only one person in that situation that can shut the hell up, and that person is me.”

Learning our strengths and weaknesses and learning to put our differences aside has made a huge impact on my relationship.

Pause when agitated.

Sometimes one of us just has to walk away.

I am grateful that we can work through the rough times. We agree that divorce isn’t the option today.

When we are good, we are great.

That is the way it is most days.

#13 Gringo Honeymoon by Robert Earl Keen. Last Christmas mom gave us concert tickets to see Robert Earl Keen.

I personally have seen him play live more times than any other artist. This show was different. Besides being in the front row, I was there with UnNi, My Wife.

“We were so close I could see his tongue moving while he sang.”

UnNi

That’s what she likes to say when I brag about how great the seats were.

She had never heard of REK until she met me. I have showed her a world of music that she still thinks is strange, but I think that it is growing on her.

The day that we walked out of that courthouse in Carrizozo I was the happiest I had ever been. We found a Museum where we stopped to take some pictures. I have a picture of her in her wedding dress, next to a big cactus. She was the sexiest woman I had ever seen. She still is today.

We were standin’ on a mountaintop Where the cactus flowers grow, I was wishin’ that the world would stop. When you said we’d better go.”

Robert Earl Keen

Did I mention she was a planner?

#14 Leather and Lace Don by Stevie Nicks and DonHenley. For a guy who never liked female artists, after meeting UnNi I found a whole bunch I really love.

This song was one I fell in love with around the same time I really started falling for UnNi.

Her brother J and sister in law Heather do a great cover of this song with their band Cowboy Drive. Their video features shots from Ft Davis, one of our favorite places to be. The place we first met, the conference I will never forget.

UnNi likes a section of the mountainous terrain where the natural out cropping of rocks took shapes of almost human form. She calls these “the ancestors.”

I hope and pray that the ancestors will always protect her and guide our lives through happiness and harmony.

I search for something I can’t see.”

Stevie Nicks

The other night we were sitting in our hot tub. It was windy out and UnNi told me “I like the wind. It reminds me of God. Even though I can’t see Him, I Know He is there”

#15 What a difference you’ve made in my Life by Ronnie Milsap.

What a difference you’ve made in my life.”

UnNi, there’s nothing else I need to say about this song. It is pretty self Explanatory.

Pancho

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Posted October 1, 2020 by Pancho in category "Pancho Palace

5 COMMENTS :

  1. By Chris and Nora on

    Loved reading this sweet tribute to you and your live. She is a sweetie.take good care of each other. Our playlists look very similar.

    Reply
  2. By Mike Worley on

    Wonderful story, Jennifer. I too have a sentimental side for songs. I’m happily married but I also remember a fiancee who passed away before we could be married. The song I choose to commemorate that is “I Guest It Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes” by the Oak Ridge Boys.

    I’d also invite you and Cody (he’s already commented on my website – thank you) to check out a couple of my favorite love poems at https://wp.me/p7S4go-x7.

    Best wished for a long and happy life together

    Reply
  3. By Pancho (Post author) on

    Thanks Mike, something we both enjoy is our poetry and writing. Thankful to have found this forum to express ourselves and share our work. Will for sure check out yours.

    Reply

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